It Sounds Like a Good Idea!

Have you ever made a plan, had an idea or set out to do something (anything like tackling a home project, taking the kids on an outing, taking a trip...), but when the time comes, the first things that comes to minds is "what in the world was I thinking?" That is how I sometimes feel about running and setting running goals (like running a 50 mile. . . trail race . . . in June!). While talking to friends and family, reading about running, logging miles into my calendar, planning my next run, I always feel excited and confident and can't wait to get out there, pound the pavement, run that next long run. But sometimes as I trudge through those first few (freezing) miles, I start wondering "what I am doing?"

Saturday I ran my first 13.1 mile run and felt pretty good, so I planned to run on Sunday out in Ashburn. Just an easy 6-8 miles on the WO&D, no pressure, just a "little" run. But Saturday evening some of the Honey Badgers (my awesome running buddies - more about the Honey Badgers in another post) sent me a text asking if I wanted to do a 10 mile trial run. "YES, OF COURSE" was my immediate response! I was psyched! I needed to start getting out on the trail and let's face it, I will run on my own in the neighborhood, but not on the trail.So I was really excited to get out there for the first time in 6 months! If you have never run the on a trail, I highly recommend it! It is awesome...freeing, less pressure, easier on the joints, beautiful and totally different, simply put it is FUN!!!

So Sunday morning I woke feeling excited about my first trail run of the training cycle! Excited to do something different, run somewhere new and be out in nature (and hoping not to get lost - been there, done that!). After making sure I was well fueled, had plenty of water, I headed out to meet up with the Honey Badgers and we set off...I was eager and ready!

The trail strarted off next to a stream (or creek or run, I am not really sure), and even in early January it was beautiful. I can only imagine what is will look like in a few short months when everything is green again. It was so nice to be running somewhere new and different, to be jumping over tree branches and puddles, skirting the mud, crossing creeks on large stones. We stopped several times just to breath deep and appreciate being out on the trail. Honestly I am still not really sure where we were and it really didn't matter, we were just running, talking and enjoying this time away from the rest of the world.

About half way through, I started getting tired. I was much more tired than I expected, I was breathing hard and my legs were getting achy , my feet were a little sore, I couldn't decide if I was hot or cold and that was when it happened...the thoughts started creeping in, those thoughts we don't like to talk about, the dark, scary doubts!

 I was only about 5 miles in and I wanted to scream "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING...50 MILES OF THIS, I can not believe that I signed up to run 50 miles in the woods! I will never make it!" I mean really, who in their right mind not only plans, but registers and pays to run 50 miles!!! ME!! That's who, the crazy one!

I slogged through the rest of the run, truly enjoyed the trail and the time with my friends, but was so happy to be done. Happy to give my legs a break. Thrilled to say "I just did a 10 mile trial run!. Once I was safe in my car, headed home to take a shower and hug my kids, I realized that I really was psyched to be training for a 50 mile trail run! It will be a challenge and there will be many more times when I will think I lost my mind (and there are times, I am sure I will be losing my mind), but running 50 miles is something I want to do. Why? I can't really put it to words...I guess to prove to myself I can, to see how tough I really am, to show my kids that if you work hard enough you can do anything! There are lots of reason why and each time I think about it, I have a different answer. I can not say for sure how I am going to feel afterwards, or if I will want to stop half way, or if I will ever do it again. But the one thing I do know for sure is that accomplishing the goal of running 50 miles will feel so amazing and I will be so thankful for the entire experience! I just can't wait!!!

And yes, I am a little nuts! :)